hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
