he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Randomize
