Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
