fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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