It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
