wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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