wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
