Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
