I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize