Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Randomize
