that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Randomize