AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
