Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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