Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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