Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
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