okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
