you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize