it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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