so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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