TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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