I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
