So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Randomize