Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
3pm strippers are depressing
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
