Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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