dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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