I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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