I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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