Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
