i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
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