About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
