this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
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