I'm eating all of the evidence.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Randomize
