I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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