i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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