I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I am midnight drunk by noon
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
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