I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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