she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
i think my cat just said my name.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
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