Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
