my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
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