Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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