I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
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