I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
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