I accidentally had phone sex last night
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
