Your favorite bartender is back from prision
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
She bit a glass in half.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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