A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
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