You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
