Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
