I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize