My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
my sisters under your porch take her home
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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