I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
He's a Shit stain on my heart
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
