Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
