too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
