That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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