So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I think my moral compass just broke
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