YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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