But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
