thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
These tits shall not be calmed
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
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