Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
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Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
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I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
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